You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
