just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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