Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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