i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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