If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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