Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
