i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
