At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
