She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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