There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize