My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
