so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
