ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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