id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
