Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
