I'll bet she douches with gravy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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