You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it glows. i had to have it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
