This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
