Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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