They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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