The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
