I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Umm I'm too high to move.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
