so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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