I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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