A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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