Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
