the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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