oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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