I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
