I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
