two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The uberlube is also flammable
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
