i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
