I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
