No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
third nipple confirmed
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
