i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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