Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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