she looked like the before picture.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
