I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
