either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Im part way to drunk.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
