Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
