So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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