New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
