Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize