This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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