WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
