just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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