I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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