So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
