Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
