Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
