why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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