Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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