So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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