I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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