My first STD was from a foam party
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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