and you said cock pushups were impossible
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize