you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
