I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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