based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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